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Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle?

They like horsin' around.

What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

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What do you get when you slice ice cream?

Slice cream!... I think I'll join the reposting group now...

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

Army Jokes More Army Jokes

Where do kings keep there armies?

In their sleevies.

What do you call a farmer in the army?

E.I. G.I Joe.

Shakespeare Jokes More Shakespeare Jokes

What was the slogan for Shakespeare's camping shop?

Now is the winter of our discount tents

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

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What do you call it when you refuse to do core workouts?

Abstinence.

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich