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Border Jokes

Why did the Mexican jump the border?

To get back to Mexico

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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What do you call the border between humanity and animals?

The Mediterranean Sea

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

Whats the closest a Mexican will ever be to happiness?

The border.

How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math?

Carry the Juan

What do you call drawings of dog poop that don't have outlines?

Dog turds without borders

What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks?

The closing of the Borders.

Where do Mexicans shop for books?

Borders

Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games?

Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border.

What is a Mexican's favorite bookstore?

Borders

What borders on silly?

Mexico &amp Canada

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Why did the US citizen cross the road?

To cross the border into Canada.

What do you call the international program that helps clowns with their personal space problems?

Clowns Without Borders.

What do you call a Mexican in Canada?

ACCOMPLISHED. They crossed two borders!

Why did the spy cross the border?

Because he never really was on your side.

How many countries border Germany?

Nein!

What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble?

Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville.

What did the Iraqi refugee say when he crossed the border?

Iran!

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the philanthropist learn how to subtract?

Because he wanted to make a difference. My first original, time for open mic!

Why is that?

Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.

Missouri Jokes More Missouri Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn?

A buck an ear

What does a negatively charged particle do when it gets excited?

It gets an erectron.

Math Jokes More Math Jokes

Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol?

Because they don't like to drink and derive.

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

A polynomeal

Colorado Jokes More Colorado Jokes

What do you call a potato from Colorado?

A baked potato

Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day?

He gets Thor arms!

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!