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Missouri Jokes

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

What do you call a sad state?

Missouri

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does it mean when you see a flag flying at half-mast outside of a mostly white high school?

They're hiring.

Where'd you go?

Him: "You meant with you "

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

Why are the bears such a bad football team?

Because when they were little, they were cubs. I'm so sorry

What did the bear say to the judge?

I bearly touched her.

Company Jokes More Company Jokes

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Why did the lonely man work on his days off?

X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul?

Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel.

What kind of environment do hobbits live in?

A hobbitat

M Jokes More M Jokes

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

What's the difference between a chicken and a hen?

The spelling.

Why did the chicken end up in the soup?

Because it ran out of cluck!

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men?

Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

How do you prevent alcoholism?

Shots.

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!