Missouri Jokes

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

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Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

What do you call a sad state?

Missouri

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

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Ferguson Jokes More Ferguson Jokes

Why are they rioting in Ferguson?

Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done.

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why did the man quit working at the cemetery?

It was hard to make a living.

What does a taxidermist do for a living?

Oh you know... stuff...

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?

Because they're meteor

Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was

Community Jokes More Community Jokes

What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?

That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community.

What do you call an Optomitrist who is very highly thought of in his community?

Respectacle

M Jokes More M Jokes

Why am I just so naturally funny?

Because my life is a joke. Dont worry Im not scuicidal

What's that girl?

Timmy's in the old well L: Arf arf He's dead You sure L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What is the collective term for rams crossed with llamas who work as Avon representatives??

Rama llama ding dongs

Why did the chicken cross the pathway?

By doing so, he got to the other side. Romney 2012.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What's the difference between a tsunami and a bear?

A tsunami doesn't care that you are faster than your buddy.

What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light?

I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off.

Company Jokes More Company Jokes

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go