What's worse than a dead lawyer?

A living one.

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Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What part of the house does a ghost not use?

The living room

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Whats the difference between a dead dog on the side of the road and a dead lawyer on the side of the road?

There are skidmarks before the dog.

What's the difference between dead animals on the road and dead lawyers on the road?

Dead animals have skid marks AROUND them