Company Jokes

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

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What do you call a company run entirely by ghosts?

An incorporation.

What company makes the best fireworks?

Spacex

Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away?

Discover.

Why did the company hire the glutton?

Because he was a ate professional!

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest

What do you call a nun that works for your company?

Nun of your business.

How many people work at your company?

About half of them.

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

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What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night?

No wonder you called the company Microsoft

Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup?

Because his family had stock in the company.

What company makes Nerds?

Your mom.

Why do Chinese workers work so hard?

Because their companies are always short-staffed.

How do you know you're always about to have fun in the company of an octopus?

Because it's always ten-to-cool time...

Why did the lonely man work on his days off?

X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company.

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

What could you bring to this company?

Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to.

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What type of tree hates company?

Sycamore trees!

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the paralympic athlete loose the race?

He didn't start off with the right foot. EDIT: Ortography

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Catholic Priest Jokes More Catholic Priest Jokes

Which do Catholic priests like betterapples or cherries?

Neitherthey prefer boysenberries.

Why are catholic priests so Eco-friendly?

Zero emissions.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

Bernie Sanders

What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?

I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What do you call something brown and sticky?

A stick.

What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree?

Poll tree!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between 0/1 and 0/2?

Nothing.

What's the difference between Reddit and Facebook?

About a day

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What part of a fish weighs the most?

It's scales!

What happened to the girl who went fishing with a group of men?

She returned home with a red snapper.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you call beef that's been burned?

A mis-steak.

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico, and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

Coincidence Jokes More Coincidence Jokes

What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie?

Coincidence on 34th Street

What does COINCIDENCE' mean?

Student Funny, I was just going to ask you that.