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Company Jokes

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

What do you call a company run entirely by ghosts?

An incorporation.

What company makes the best fireworks?

Spacex

Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away?

Discover.

Why did the company hire the glutton?

Because he was a ate professional!

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest

What do you call a nun that works for your company?

Nun of your business.

How many people work at your company?

About half of them.

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night?

No wonder you called the company Microsoft

Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup?

Because his family had stock in the company.

What company makes Nerds?

Your mom.

Why do Chinese workers work so hard?

Because their companies are always short-staffed.

How do you know you're always about to have fun in the company of an octopus?

Because it's always ten-to-cool time...

Why did the lonely man work on his days off?

X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company.

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

What could you bring to this company?

Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What type of tree hates company?

Sycamore trees!

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Flood Jokes More Flood Jokes

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired?

Oh snap!

Why did Ibuprofen miss his friends?

Because Paracetamol on fire.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

How do Eskimos make things stick together?

Igloo

Park Jokes More Park Jokes

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

You park your car, man.

What do you call a frog that's parked illegally?

Toad.

Coal Mining Company Jokes More Coal Mining Company Jokes

Whats the difference between a coal mining company and the Catholic Church?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts not the other way around.......

What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why did the blonde tie magnets to her fishing pole?

She was fishing for Steelhead Trout

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband right before she got on the Challenger Shuttle?

Honey you feed the dog I'll feed the fish.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

Catholic Priest Jokes More Catholic Priest Jokes

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?

You get a Christian Bale

What does a Catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind.