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How many people work at your company?

About half of them.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day?

Counterfitz

What do you call people that you hate?

Clouds, because once they are gone it's a beautiful day.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

What fundamental force compels physicists to go to work on Mondays?

The week force.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently 10 aren't enough:

Company Jokes More Company Jokes

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!