China Jokes

What was the name of the heaviest man in china?

Won ton

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Why did Genghis invade China?

Because he khan.

What's the most popular soup in China?

Chicken poodle soup...I know, I know booooo

How long is a china-man?

Excuse the question mark, "How Long" is in fact a china man.

What do Lumber jacks do in China?

Chop sticks!

Why does China have such a large population???

Because their condoms were Made in China.

This joke may have profanity.

What are the most common 3 words used all around the world?

Made in China.

What did Blizzard do on Warcraft's opening night?

Farm gold in China.

What's the difference between KFC and China?

At KFC, you can only get breasts, legs, and thighs.

Why aren't there any Mexicans in China?

Because the Chinese know how to build a wall.

What's the most popular Internet meme in China?

Ayy lMao

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What river separates China and India?

The Fraser River (which separates Richmond and Surrey)

Why dont they use phone books in China?

Because they have so many Wing's and Wong's That they might Wing the Wong Numba!!!

What happened in China on Christmas?

The Rice-child was born.

Why is China so politically in bed with Africa?

Because China is the biggest coal burner in the world

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

Why can't you have multi-story buildings in China?

That would be wong on so many levels!

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Why did the Chinese man tell a joke?

Just China be funny.

What's China's national colour?

Censo-red.

Why wasn't the aeroplane invented in China?

Because two Wongs don't make a Wright.

What is the difference between walking a dog in America and China?

The spelling.

Why is it that there aren't much natural oil resources in China?

They ate all the dinosaurs

Why isn't China a democracy?

Because then they'd have to hold erections.

How did Kikkoman soy sauce move production to China?

They outsauced it.

How do you end world hunger?

Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.

Why doesn't china have casinos?

Because they hate Tibet.

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

Why did China lose WW2?

Because their weapons were made in China

Why were there no feminists in Communist China?

Because everyone had equal rice.

What do you call a guy from China who is confused?

Disoriented.

How can you tell if your "designer clothes" are made in China?

If they look fabric-cated Very bad, I know. "This is why we don't have friends!!"

Why isn't anyone afraid of China?

Because everyone knows General Tsao's chicken. Heard from a friend today.

What country is the most fragile?

China!

Why don't they have phone books in China?

Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.

Why don't they have a Phone Directory in China?

Because there are so many "Wings" and "Wongs" they'd still wing the wong number.

Why does China care so much about money?

They can't resist all of the cha-'ching'.

Why is China a communist country?

Because nobody wants to hold an erection.

Why does China hate Digimon Fans?

Because they recognise Ty won

Why doesn't democracy work in china?

Because no one wants to hold an erection.

What do you call a high security U.S. prison in China?

Wonton-amo Bay

What's the hottest thing in China right now?

A Tibetan monk on fire.

Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey?

The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.

What do you call a productive Asian?

China get something done.

How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn?

China probably can pop corn in one minute.

What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt?

Con-grab-ur-asians!!

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

What do geological plates and dinner plates have in common?

They're both pieces of china.

Where do the Chinese study?

In the Pupils republic of China

What do they call Peter Pan in China?

Peter Wok

Why is there no phone books in china?

Because theres so many wings and wongs you wing the wong number.

Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China?

They need clean air.

What do you call a cheap maid uniform?

Maid in China.

What's your favorite city in China?

Taiwan

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first?

Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

How did the knight know that his armor was made in China?

He found a chink in it.

What do you call 69-ing in China?

Tu Can Chu

What's considered an homemade gift in China?

An IPhone.

Who is your favorite President of China?

According to her it's Mao.

What's the name of China's new atmosphere-cleanup program?

The Desolation of Smog.

What's the difference between a regular product and a fancy one?

The regular one says "Made in China". The fancy one says "Designed in the USA. Made in China."

What do viagra and China have in common?

Rigged erections

This joke may have profanity.

How Long is a battleship. True or false?

False. How Long is a man from China.

Why do they have so much trouble with the phone systems in China?

Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs that someone's always Winging the Wong number.

What do you call a robbery in China?

A Chinese take away!

What's the name of the richest man in China?

Cha Ching

How do you get a job with Apple?

Be born in China.

What do you call a rooster from China?

Caucasian

What replaces Steam, the gaming platform, in China?

Pollution.

How does the china man say "wrong"?

He says "wong"

Who was the last President of China?

Yes he was.

Why are there no stray dogs in China?

Have you heard of stray chickens

Who's there! China! China who?

China late isn't it!

What is China's favorite ice cream flavor?

Licorice

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

What sound does a doorbell make in China?

Ping pong.

What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder?

Ben Ching.

Who was the most powerful cat in China?

Chairman Miaow!

Why are turtles dangerous in China?

Because they can turtle you.

What is the most important factor in China's future?

Euthanasia.

Why doesn't China have a phone directory?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs they'd still wing the wong number.

Why was the lesbian nervous about her first trip to China?

All the dongs.

What do you call a dog with lice in China?

Full course dinner

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.

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What do you call a river that's an actor?

Russell Flow

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

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Why do women like men who can work on cars?

They know how to work under the hood!

How can you tell if someone is a marathon runner?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

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What did the Mongols put on their Hamburgers?

Khan-diments.

How did Djengis Khan found Mongolia?

One steppe at a time.

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Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team?

Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What does snoop doggy dog use to do his laundry?

Answer in comments.

What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?

LO

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A horse and rider.

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg shorter than the other?

Li Ning

Fact Jokes More Fact Jokes

What are facts about canines we must believe?

Dogma

What's the worst part of being bipolar?

The fact you love it.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why couldn't the Chinese herpetologist see out his car window?

Because it was too froggy outside.

Why the chicken cross the road.... to get the Chinese newspaper. Do you get it?

Neither do I, I get the New York times