Neck Jokes

Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Because his neck is way up here! (Dad Joke)

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Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

Why were the witch and wizard always kissing each other's necks?

Because they were neckromancers

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

Why do cows wear bells around there neck?

Because there horns don't work.

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Why do cows have bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work.

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?

Necking.

Who won the animal race?

The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush!

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Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer....

What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush.

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?

The girl necks door.

What did the tie say to the neck?

I think I'll just hang around.

Why are giraffes such good friends?

They are always willing to stick their neck out for you.

Why did the bank robber go to the chiropractor?

Because he had a crook in his neck.

What muscle is most responsible for lateral rotation of the neck?

The gluteus maximus

What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

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Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Dayscare centers

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Bye Son (Bison)

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I'll be Bach

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He couldn't decide what font to use.

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What advice to cows give?

Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?

Cowboom!

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Which day is the most agreeable?

Yesterday

What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu

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What do you call a bell wearing a tutu?

A bellerina!

What's the difference between a church bell & a politician?

A church bell peals from the steeple.

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What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails?

Snout about!

What do you call an aardvark outside Buckingham Palace?

A guardvark!

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What do you call a swashbuckler when he noticed you?

A senpairate.

How much less could you care?

Coworker: I don't get it. Me: I noticed.

Neck Romancer Jokes More Neck Romancer Jokes

What do you call an amorous vampire?

A neck-romancer

What do you call a person that raises the dead and also had a thing for napes?

A neck-romancer