April Sale - 20% Off

Neck Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

Love Card

Love Card

Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Because his neck is way up here! (Dad Joke)

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

What do ateists wear on their necks as an indication of their commitment to the atheism?

Head.

Why were the witch and wizard always kissing each other's necks?

Because they were neckromancers

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

Why could Frankenstein's Monster not have children?

Because his nuts were in his neck!

Why do cows wear bells around there neck?

Because there horns don't work.

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Why do cows have bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work.

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt?

Afroturf

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?

Necking.

What do men and beer bottles have in common?

They are both empty from the neck up.

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

Who won the animal race?

The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush!

Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer....

What do you call a chicken with no neck?

A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit.

What do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?

The girl necks door.

What did the tie say to the neck?

I think I'll just hang around.

Why are giraffes such good friends?

They are always willing to stick their neck out for you.

What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler?

How red their necks are.

Why did the bank robber go to the chiropractor?

Because he had a crook in his neck.

What muscle is most responsible for lateral rotation of the neck?

The gluteus maximus

What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

You might also enjoy:

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

Hickey Jokes More Hickey Jokes

What do you call a dark wizard that loves to give hickeys?

A necromancer

What's more disgusting than a hickey on a haemorrhoid?

The girl who puts it there.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know?.... saw this joke in today's

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

Giraffe Jokes More Giraffe Jokes

What do you get when you cross and elephant with a giraffe?

Elephantgiraffesin()

What do you call a road full of giraffes?

Giraffic.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What was the engineer's reaction to his wife being too heavy?

Cantilever? (can't I leave her)

What do wives and shingles have in common?

If you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

Why do you look so sad?

Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint

How does Mulan's boyfriend explain himself when she caught him smoking pot?

Shanghai

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What does a psychologist wear to bed?

A Freudian slip.

Why do bananas wear suntan lotion?

Because they peel.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept?

How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative.

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.