Why is KFC always out of toilet paper?

Because it is Finger Lickin' Good.

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What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

What does Taylor Swift tell her boyfriend when he gets toilet paper stuck on his arse?

Shake it off

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Why is KFC always out of toilet paper?

Because it is Finger Lickin' Good.

What's long, black, and dangerous to cut?

The line at KFC.