How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

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Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

Why should you not tell jokes to sand paper?

It's a rough crowd...Ba da bum chssh

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What did the car dealer ask the oscilloscope?

Sin or cosine

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

Answer "Scissors." then drive away..

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Why did the chemist die?

He ate a Pb and J sandwich.

What did the chemist say when hr found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

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How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'