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Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when a vegan gets to the party?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love?

You know, they're right... we do taste like chicken!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste (better to say it aloud)

How do you tell an X chromosome from a Y chromosome?

Pull down its genes.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why can't Sweden win a race?

Because, it always sits right behind the Finnish line

Why do you always fight with your sisters?

6-year-old: Because I always win.

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

What did Tupac say when his best friend died?

No Biggie.

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

How do you know Putin's doing well this election?

He's taking over the Poles.

How was the election rigged?

Through the Electoral College.

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke