Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call a below average sized dog?

A sub woofer Yeah, I know I'm barking up the wrong sub reddit.

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why do you always fight with your sisters?

6-year-old: Because I always win.

Who won the race?

Society.

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

How much for the best friend?

Manager: Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.

What did Tupac say when his best friend died?

No Biggie.

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

How do you know Putin's doing well this election?

He's taking over the Poles.

What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

What do you call a man who's on fire?

Bernie.

Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.