Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

What's the difference between a piano, glue, and a tuna?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna (What about the glue) I knew you'd get stuck on that

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What does a hippy tell you when you ask them to leave?

Namaste

How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?

A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What does that tell you?

4-year-old: I won.

How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics?

They take their prison population and school population to Rio.

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

Who is your best friend?

Robert" "Since when is Robert your best friend " "Yesterday."

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common?

Neither can achieve an election

Why doesn't Japan have elections?

I dunno but it's probably the reason for their low birth rates.

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

Who's there! Bernie! Bernie who?

Bernie bridges!