Why does Bernie know he'll win the elec...

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How is Ducktape like the Force?

It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired

How do pirates know that they exist?

They think, therefore they arrrr

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

Why do so many Australian men experience premature ejeculation?

Because they cant wait to get out and tell all their friends about scoring.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Where the hell did you get?

The barkeep asks. "I won it, playing cards", says the pig.

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

What do you call cows that are best friends?

Brovines.

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

What's the biggest lie of the election?

Voting machines aren't hackable.

How do you know Putin's doing well this election?

He's taking over the Poles.

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke

What would you call the Easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?