Good Friend Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

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What do you call cows that are best friends?

Brovines.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?

Because they're both cauldron

What did Tupac say when his best friend died?

No Biggie.

What did the boy say when his dog died?

I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.

Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

Why should a man never bang his best friend?

He'll probably catch fleas

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

Who is your best friend?

Robert" "Since when is Robert your best friend " "Yesterday."

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How much for the best friend?

Manager: Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Why are giraffes such good friends?

They are always willing to stick their neck out for you.

What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend?

A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!

Why is SAE not that racist?

Because some of their best friends are black... for Halloween!

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why don't Arab women need Insurance?

Because they are already covered.

What is an independent variable?

Student: A variable who don't need no man

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do you call it when a Cat wins a Dogshow?

Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe.

How does a Confederate flag and a rainbow flag differ?

The latter represents people that win.

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What rating do pirate movies always get?

PG-13

What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy?

Rated movies.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

What's the only thing worse than finding a roach in your food?

Finding half of a roach in your food.

Joint Jokes More Joint Jokes

What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major?

My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder...

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

Gravitational Wave Jokes More Gravitational Wave Jokes

What My Friend Said Once They Discovered The Existence of Gravitational Waves?

Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now

What led to the discovery of gravitational waves?

A simple game of hopscotch: Me v. Yo Mama

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

Why cant Ray Charles see his friends?

Because he's Blind Married

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why is a ghost like an empty house?

Because there's no body there!

Who left these bodies here?

Get them back inside the camp!