Bernie Jokes

Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

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How is Bernie going to pay for free college for everyone?

No problem! He'll just make Mexico pay for it!

What would you call the Easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

Bernie Sanders

Who's there! Bernie! Bernie who?

Bernie bridges!

Which states is Bernie most popular in?

Denmark, Sweden and Norway.

What do you call a man who's on fire?

Bernie.

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How do you make a violin sound like a viola?

Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

What did the author of The Lord of the Rings say after he completed his books?

If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein.

Bernie Supporter Jokes More Bernie Supporter Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

President Jokes More President Jokes

What do you call a president who interrupts people?

Donald Tr- WRONG!

Who is the president of the trees?

BarkOak Palma

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

How can you tell that the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling out of sides of his mouth.

Revolve Jokes More Revolve Jokes

How many millenials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. They hold it in place while the world revolves around them.

How does a feminist change a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them.

Exist Jokes More Exist Jokes

What do you call a color that doesn't exist?

A pigment of your imagination.

Why did the Dark Ages existed?

Because there were 'nights.

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

Which is Bernie Sanders' dominant hand?

His left one

What the difference between Bernie Sanders and a piece of fruit?

Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something.