What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal?

He ran his business on a skeleton crew.

What's the worst part of running into your ex?

You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

What do you call sandpaper on fire?

Bernie Sanders