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What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing

Why did the Native American quit his desk job at the Marriot?

He didn't like dealing with reservations.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?

The registration of the car that ran him over!

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What do you call a fire on the beach?

Bernie Sanders

How do you know all Bernie Sanders' supporters are Harry Potter fans?

They all dress like Dobby.