What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Why did the programmer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why couldn't the melons run away and get married?

They cantelope.

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

DAM!

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

What would you call the Easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.