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Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

What's the longest you've stayed in bed?

I usually sleep ON the bed. #DadJoke

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's pink and slowly turns red?

A baby chewing on a razor blade.

Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex?

Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What body movements alert you that a politician is lying?

His lips are moving.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a lawyer?

Some adults like lawyers.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We're both lawyers.