Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

How do you get a black man to stop jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite?

Namaste home tonight.

How do you turn a fox into a whale?

Marry her.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What happens to lawyers after they die?

They lie still.

What kind of cats lay around the house?

Car-pets!

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What do lawyers use for birth control?

Personality.

Why do they bury lawyers 20 feet deep?

Because deep down, they're good people. Thanks Saul.