How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

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How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**

What did the German physicist use to drink his beer?

Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid.

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What do call an old man that asks questions?

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How does a mathematician ask for money?

Give me 10! dollars

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Why are chemists always a part of the problem?

Because they can never be a part of the solution.

Why wasn't the chemist concerned when she blew up her experiment?

Oxidants happen,

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How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.