When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do politicians hate the term "mudslinging"?

They don't want to get their hands dirty.

Why didn't the table want to be sat on?

He wasn't a charitable guy

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions?

An algorithm.

Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"?

Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why does Star Wars Movies numbering scheme starts with 4,5,6?

Because in charge of the numbers, Yoda was

Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge Yoda was.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Why did Snoke get his meal before Kylo Ren?

Because he made the First Order!

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

What's the I.T. guy's favorite Pokémon game?

It's a toss up between ruby and perl.

What do you get when toss a hand grenade into a French kitchen?

Linoleum blownapart.

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?

Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup.

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

What happens when someone mixes Francium, Oxygen, Tungsten, and Nitrogen after it explodes?

The chemist may frown.

Why did the Ethiopian child have a frown?

He was having his mid life crisis!

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress