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When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Want to hear a joke about construction?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

Why does Waldo only wear stripes?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?

He was already taking out a tooth

What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions?

A Chihuahua because it knows all the shortcuts!

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Who does Luke Skywalker ask to charge his lightsaber?

Char-Jar Binks

What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants?

On television!

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why did you crash into that stop sign?

Motorist: I was only following orders.

Why were the twin towers disappointed?

They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane.

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

What do you get when toss a hand grenade into a French kitchen?

Linoleum blownapart.

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

What do you call soup that you've found a hair in?

Rabbit Soup

How do you turn soup to gold?

Add 24 carrots

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

Why shouldn't ISIS be destroying ancient Mesopotamian buildings?

Because it's frowned upon in Islam to smoke ziggurats.

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

How much is a soft drink?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

Uh, me so sorry.