Waitress Jokes

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

Uh, me so sorry.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

How much is a soft drink?

Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill.

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey.

China Jokes More China Jokes

Where do the Chinese study?

In the Pupils republic of China

What is China's favorite ice cream flavor?

Licorice

Breakup Jokes More Breakup Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

Legge Waitress Work Jokes More Legge Waitress Work Jokes

Where does a legged waitress work?

IHOP.

Where did the one legged waitress work?

IHOP

Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

What does a footballer and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

New Yorker Jokes More New Yorker Jokes

Why did the New Yorker sleep under an oil tank?

He wanted to wake up oily.

What are all those wires?

My wireless internet." (New Yorker cartoon ideas)

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light?

Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.

Why do they call it the XBOX 360?

Because you turn 360 and walk away!!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's worse than ten babies in one trash can?

One baby in ten trash cans.

How many babies does it take to stop a puck?

Ask Subban from the Hans to find out