Thanksgiving Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey.

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

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What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

Turkey.

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What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Japanese People Jokes More Japanese People Jokes

Why do Japanese people squint?

Nuclear explosions are bright

What type of pants do Japanese people wear?

Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What's a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.

Why did the tire pop?

Because it retired.

Gravy Jokes More Gravy Jokes

What is a mortician's favorite side dish?

Gravy

Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his Thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

Why did the GameCube controller get off the boat?

Because he got a little c-stick.

Why is the rear end of a boat so tough?

It's made of stern stuff.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

How do pirates like their jigsaws?

In pieces of eight.

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What do you call a Japanese pirate?

J-Peg.

What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse

Smash Potato Jokes More Smash Potato Jokes

What's the Incredible Hulk's favorite food?

Smashed potatoes.

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

Source Jokes More Source Jokes

Why do chickens sit on eggs?

Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old.

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.