Thanksgiving Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

How do you say Thanksgiving in Native American?

Last Supper

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

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Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

Where's your maternity section?

Her: Over there. How far along is she Me: Her I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...

Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey.

What does my mom and a turkey have in common?

They both died on Thanksgiving

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

What do you call Jamal's dad during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years?

Hide n' Seek World Champion 2010-2016

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How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

Turkey.

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What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Happy Thanksgiving Jokes More Happy Thanksgiving Jokes

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What do you call a Russian bull?

A Moscow

What happens when you wear radioactive Russian underpants?

Cher nob'll fall out.

Differentiate Jokes More Differentiate Jokes

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

Why do they say "character actress"?

Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

Who drowns?

The boat.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat!

Performer Jokes More Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

Why did the Computer Engineer retire young?

He had a lot of cache.

What Do You Call Bob The Builder When He Retires?

Bob.

Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes More Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

Thanksgive Dinner Jokes More Thanksgive Dinner Jokes

Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.