Thanksgiving Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey.

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

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What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

Turkey.

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What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Gravy Jokes More Gravy Jokes

What is a mortician's favorite side dish?

Gravy

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe?

They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.

What do you get if you digitise a map of northern Europe?

Scanned-in-avia

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How do fish lose weight?

They Swim-fast.

Why are you being so salty?

Her response - with a flat, even look: "I've been well seasoned." I lost it

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

What's the most popular Russian streaming service?

Nyetflix

Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes More Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why did the pirate go to Ireland?

He thought he was going to Arrrland.

What is Blackbeard and Captain Hook's favorite workout routine?

Pirates.

Armenian Jokes More Armenian Jokes

What do you call the device that keeps an Armenian man safe?

A Serj Protector.

Why don't more people cook Armenian food?

Because it can be very thyme-consuming.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

Which faction in Divergent has the largest number of lamborghinis?

Erudite because they like knowledge a lot more than materialistic things