Thanksgiving Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey.

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Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

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Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

Turkey.

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Incredible Hulk Jokes More Incredible Hulk Jokes

What has 72 teeth and can hold back the Incredible Hulk?

My zipper.

What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Who stole the sheets from the bed?

Bed buglars.

What do you call it when thieves in a metal boat steal your fool's gold?

Iron Pirate

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far out, man.

How do you save a drowning mouse?

Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Gravy Jokes More Gravy Jokes

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

What is a mortician's favorite side dish?

Gravy

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God?

Eggnog-stic.

What is an ark?

2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What's your favourite animal?

Me too, I like the saltyness

How do you see lesbian relationships?

I said in HD. They didn't like it...

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

What fish is best to have in a boat?

A Sailfish.

Why was the boat disobedient?

Nobody gave it a stern talking to.

Good Friend Jokes More Good Friend Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

What did the boy say when his dog died?

I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend.