Thanksgiving Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

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Where's your maternity section?

Her: Over there. How far along is she Me: Her I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...

Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey.

What does my mom and a turkey have in common?

They both died on Thanksgiving

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

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Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

Turkey.

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why were the Native Americans upset when it rained in April?

Because April showers, bring May flowers!

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Incredible Hulk Jokes More Incredible Hulk Jokes

What has 42 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.

What has 52 teeth and can hold back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper

Slavs Jokes More Slavs Jokes

Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What did the Japanese General say to his kamikaze trainee?

Despite what everyone tells you, you'll never learn from your mistakes.

What is Snoopy's favorite Japanese dish?

Snushi.

Gravy Jokes More Gravy Jokes

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his Thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

Kin Jokes More Kin Jokes

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

What did Vladimir name his member?

Put-in. (In a Russian accent)

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

What did the water say to the boat?

Nothing. It just waved.

Why don't you transport onions by boat?

You don' want your boat to be full of leeks.