Thanksgiving Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What will Russians be cooking for Thanksgiving...?

Turkey

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

How do you say Thanksgiving in Native American?

Last Supper

Who's the only one who doesn't say thanks on Thanksgiving?

The Turkey.

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Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

Where's your maternity section?

Her: Over there. How far along is she Me: Her I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...

Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey.

What does my mom and a turkey have in common?

They both died on Thanksgiving

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

What do you call Jamal's dad during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years?

Hide n' Seek World Champion 2010-2016

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How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

Turkey.

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What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes More Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Grease Jokes More Grease Jokes

What were Tarzan's last words?

WHO GREASED THE VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEE.

What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why does the snoop dog bring an umbrella?

For the drizzle

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What is the most inappropriate thing to say to someone who just lost their job?

You had one job.

What method did SFML perform when the Human lost to the AI?

Text.GetRect()

Japanese People Jokes More Japanese People Jokes

What type of pants do Japanese people wear?

Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)

What do you call a group of Japanese people running up a hill?

Tsunami Warning

Thanksgive Dinner Jokes More Thanksgive Dinner Jokes

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his Thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?

Find out after the break.

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What us the difference between white, brown and black people?

The time God took to cook us

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook