How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

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Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

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How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

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What did Vladimir Putin say to the Ukraine after he annexed it?

Crimean river.

What happens when Vladimir Putin stands up too fast?

Head Russian...

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How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!