How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you call a Woolworths that has been burned down?

Coles

What's the difference between a cello and a violin?

A cello burns longer.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What do you call those people who follow musicians around and try to hang with them after the show?

Drummers.

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

Why Did The Military Take Over Turkey?

To Prove They Were Not Chicken

Where does a Turkey live?

A coup.

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

Why do people always ask me for directions?

I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean.

What is Rickon Stark's favourite band?

One Direction.

20 Minute Jokes More 20 Minute Jokes

How are you?

Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

What gets easier to pick up, the more it weighs?

Women

Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes More Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!