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How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you call a burning Bible?

Holy smokes.

What do you call bread so burnt it can never be ate?

Comatoast

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

How do you find a drug dealer donkey?

Just follow his coke mules.

Why do nuns always travel in pairs?

Because one nun follows the other nun to make sure that nun doesn't get none.

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey.

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What is the name of Turkey's most beloved actor?

Muslim Bale

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

Because they're inbred

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

What directions did the ghost give the goblin?

"Make a fright turn at the corner."

Why did George cross the road?

He didn't look in both directions before crossing.

20 Minute Jokes More 20 Minute Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby?

20 minutes, thermostat 8.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What soup weighs the most?

Wanton soup. I'll leave now.

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales!

Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes More Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted