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Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?

Because an itch in time saves nine.

Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

What animal will you always see at a resturant?

A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.

What did the token black guy say to the other black guy who walks in the party?

Hey man! Who do you know here? This is a Brothers only party!

Amazon Jokes More Amazon Jokes

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

What do you call someone who makes a lot of money through deforestation of the Amazon?

A Brazillionaire!

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

Humanity Jokes More Humanity Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What can stop supervirus from destroying humanity?

Batvirus (stolen joke xD)

Prime Jokes More Prime Jokes

Why is Michael Jordan's Jersey number 23?

Because then he will always be in prime.

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes