Amazon Jokes

Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime?

They get free two-day shipping.

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What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Why does Barbie hate Amazon?

Because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls.

Whats the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon prime.

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict?

You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.

Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon?

Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt...

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What do you call someone who makes a lot of money through deforestation of the Amazon?

A Brazillionaire!

Who's there! Amazon! Amazon who?

Amazon of a gun!

What did Descartes say while shopping online?

I think therefore I Amazon

What do mathematicians use to get fast delivery?

Amazon'

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What's the difference between a crackhead and a John?

A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.

Where do you buy clothes for baby owls?

The outlet

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why did the woman leave her overweight husband unconscious in a burning building?

Because she couldn't stand him.

Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day?

One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.

How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series?

2016

Sail Jokes More Sail Jokes

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...

The sails are going through the roof.

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

Why don't vampires like steak?

Because it's bad for their heart.

What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

Barbie Jokes More Barbie Jokes

Why is Barbie's boyfriend afraid of commitment?

He's a chic Ken.

Why didn't Ken ever get Barbie pregnant?

Because he always came in another box.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent?

The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

What has two O's and fires?

A double-vowel shotgun.

Brother Jokes More Brother Jokes

Why so glum Chum?

Asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin?

She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* "I'm out..."