When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a grandma that know martial arts?

A grandmartial artist. I apologise for any lost brain cells.

How does the Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work.

What wears a bright red suit and knows if you've been naught..or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why'd the blonde snort a line of Splenda?

She thought it was diet coke

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why should you never play poker with a crocodile?

You will lose every hand.

Why do happy Asians always have dirty hands?

If you're happy and you know it, crap your hands.

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't siamese twins be trusted to render fair judgments?

Because they're always partial. I'm so sorry.

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?

He said it was too tight.

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

Humanity Jokes More Humanity Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits?

Hobbitat for Humanity

Faith Jokes More Faith Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What is Darth Vader's least favorite band?

Faith No More

Chili Jokes More Chili Jokes

Why did the momma pepper tuck in her baby?

Because he was a little chili (Actually came up with this while making chili)

Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans?

Because one more would be one-farty bowl of chili!