When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

To a retail store.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How'd you catch it?

Me:*flashes back to being dressed as girl stingray* You know, the regular way.

How do you know the devil is white?

Because he owns hell, he doesn't work for hell.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think of wearing a straight jacket?

I think I could pull it off

What does a conspiracy theorist say when he breaks up with someone?

I think we should start seeing other sheeple.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the guy without hands get for Christmas?

We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet

What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

Trying to hold on to a thought.

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why should you never trust soap?

It's an emulsive lyer.

Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

What does a networking robot say when returning from the bathroom?

Sorry, I http

Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone?

Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!

Humanity Jokes More Humanity Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Faith Jokes More Faith Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing.

Chili Jokes More Chili Jokes

What kind of chili do they serve at the cannibal prison??

Chili CON Carne!

How does William Shakespeare make chili?

With beans? Or not with beans? That is the question.