Humanity Jokes

What do you call the border between humanity and animals?

The Mediterranean Sea

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What can stop supervirus from destroying humanity?

Batvirus (stolen joke xD)

What did adam say to eve?

Let's save humanity.

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a monkey?

AIDS for humanity

What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits?

Hobbitat for Humanity

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

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Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?

A. They really raised Cain.

Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

Hook Jokes More Hook Jokes

Why did the spelling bee champ have to go to rehab?

He was hooked on phonics.

What's A Pirate's Favorite thing too do?

Hook up

Garbage Collector Jokes More Garbage Collector Jokes

Why do programmers produce more garbage than others?

Because they (some of them) don't have a garbage collector.

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?

Whale of fortune!

Week Old Jokes More Week Old Jokes

What's the difference between a week-old human and a weak, old human?

About eighty years

What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old?

Six weeks old!

Insert Jokes More Insert Jokes

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?

A. Banned from the Zoo.

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the zoo.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's got two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog Derek, s01e05

What is the capital of the United States?

Half of what it was last week

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between up and down?

It all depends on how you look at it

What is the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl?

You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball