Humanity Jokes

What can stop supervirus from destroying humanity?

Batvirus (stolen joke xD)

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What did adam say to eve?

Let's save humanity.

What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits?

Hobbitat for Humanity

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

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Hook Jokes More Hook Jokes

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

Why did the fish jump out of the water?

Because he was hooked on worms.

Twitter User Jokes More Twitter User Jokes

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

What do Twitter users and lollipops have in common?

They're mostly Dum Dums.

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

How did the alien tie his shoes?

With an astroknot.

What do you say to an alien with two heads?

Hello. Hello.

Professor Jokes More Professor Jokes

What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

Why was the professor cross-eyed?

Because he couldn't control his pupils!

Harambe Jokes More Harambe Jokes

What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

HaRAMbe

What can I get you today?

Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the yoga teacher say to her land lord when he tried to evict her?

Nah Imma stay

How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?

The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!

Invade Jokes More Invade Jokes

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Why did Hannibal invade Rome?

OC Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?

There was some money in the kitty!

What happened when the cow tried to milk itself?

It was an udder catastrophe.