What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster's primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Whats the difference between a midget and a bigot?

One is small and the Other is small minded!

End Jokes More End Jokes

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork

Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What did the magician's girlfriend say to the magician?

I can't see you anymore.

What does a footballer and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible....

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return?

Stick

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

How do you know all Bernie Sanders' supporters are Harry Potter fans?

They all dress like Dobby.

What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch?

Bernie Sanders exists.

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

Performance Jokes More Performance Jokes

Why do galaxies put on boring shows while separated?

Because their performance is lack-cluster.

What do you call group of mentally handicapped kids at a performance of "Peter Pan"?

Slow Children At Play