What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?

One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Where do frogs keep their treasure?

In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the magician say to the aerial student?

I work on a different plane

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

What do you call someone who begs for a free copy of "Return Of The King"?

A free-LOTR

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?

SWV (sisters with voices)

Why does Bernie Sanders support abortions?

Because even after he's blown his load he won't pull out.

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

Performance Jokes More Performance Jokes

What performance enhancing drugs do penguins use?

Polaroids

Why do galaxies put on boring shows while separated?

Because their performance is lack-cluster.