New Yorker Jokes

What's the difference between a New Yorker and a Canadian?

A New Yorker takes the A train; a Canadian takes the train, eh.

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How do you get a New Yorker upset about ISIS terror attacks?

Tell them ISIS are Red Sox fans.

What did the New Yorker order from the Liberian waitress?

Ebola soup!

Why did the New Yorker sleep under an oil tank?

He wanted to wake up oily.

What are all those wires?

My wireless internet." (New Yorker cartoon ideas)

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End Jokes More End Jokes

What's the difference between a political speech and a stand-up comic show?

They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.

What's furry on the outside.. Wet on the inside.. Starts with a C... Ends with a T... And has U &amp N in-between?

A coconut!

California Jokes More California Jokes

What kind of cigarettes do California kids smoke?

Yours.

Why doesn't Connecticut have a name for it people?

What I mean is that people from NY are New Yorkers, people from California are Californian, and coincidentally people from Colorado and Washington are Potheads.

Liberian Jokes More Liberian Jokes

Where are you from?

So where are you from?" "I'm a Liberian" "Oh sorry" *whispers*

What did the New Yorker order from the Liberian waitress?

Ebola soup!

Colorado Jokes More Colorado Jokes

Why doesn't Connecticut have a name for it people?

What I mean is that people from NY are New Yorkers, people from California are Californian, and coincidentally people from Colorado and Washington are Potheads.

What do you call a dance party in Colorado?

Shake 'n Bake.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What did it mean when they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

How many words can you type a minute?

ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean ME: Well, like for example, pickle

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking?

There's no place like OM.

Why was the piano invented?

So that the musician would have a place to put their beer.

Ny Jokes More Ny Jokes

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Why doesn't Connecticut have a name for it people?

What I mean is that people from NY are New Yorkers, people from California are Californian, and coincidentally people from Colorado and Washington are Potheads.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What kind of wine does ISIS drink?

White Infidel.

What do Vegans, ISIS and Feminists have in common?

None of them like pork.