Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

A salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed.

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander!

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

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Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?

It became a daddy short legs!

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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Caesar Jokes More Caesar Jokes

How do you divide old Rome?

Using a pair of Caesars.

What did Caesar say when playing battleship?

A2 Brute.

Salad Bar Jokes More Salad Bar Jokes

What did the priest say at the salad bar?

Lettuce pray.

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

A salad-manager

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Greenpeace throw Wolf Blitzer in the ocean?

They wanted to restore the CNNomies

What did the baby skunk want to be when he grew up?

A big stinker!

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why did the kittens turn atheist?

Coz their eyes opened.

Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown?

Because he had no depth perception.

Afford Jokes More Afford Jokes

What do you call gigabytes in Africa?

They can't afford computers in Africa.

Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?

Well, I'm guessing it's because the other fifty percent can't afford lawyers.

Chicken Caesar Jokes More Chicken Caesar Jokes

What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye?

Chicken Caesar salad.

What do you call it when a chicken sees a salad?

A Chicken Caesar salad

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

Why shouldn't ISIS be destroying ancient Mesopotamian buildings?

Because it's frowned upon in Islam to smoke ziggurats.

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress