Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

A salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed.

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What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander!

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

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Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?

It became a daddy short legs!

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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Afford Jokes More Afford Jokes

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion?

He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What's the difference between a hobo on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

A tyre (attire)

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are people so impressed with voice control?

Women have been around for 100,000 years

What people travel the most?

Romans.

Chicken Caesar Jokes More Chicken Caesar Jokes

What do you call a hen staring at a lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

What do you call it when a chicken sees a salad?

A Chicken Caesar salad

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

Uh, me so sorry.

Amphibian Jokes More Amphibian Jokes

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

A salad-manager

What do you call an amphibian in hiding?

Incognitoad.

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who drinks way too much soda?

A Coke-o-nut.

What do you call a person who keeps falling over?

Tripical

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

How are babies like hinges?

They are things to adore