Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

A salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed.

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander!

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?

It became a daddy short legs!

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

You might also enjoy:

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

What happened when the chicken ate cement?

She laid a sidewalk!

Why did the lost tourist cross the road?

The chicken looked like he knew where he was going.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

How do you know when there's a vegetarian at your bbq?

They'll tell you.

Epileptic Jokes More Epileptic Jokes

What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your bath?

Throw in your washing.

What do you call an epileptic in a deck chair?

A transformer.

Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What kind of lizard can run the mafia?

The Iguanodon

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of books do fruit read?

Pulp Fiction

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What did the British proton say after 5 cups of coffee?

I feel positively charged!

What kind of tools do I need to make a cake?

Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fish!

What did Charlie Bucket say when Willie Wonka peed on him?

I've got a golden tinkle in my eye...

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What is the most common disease for lettuce?

Icebergers

What's in a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing...