Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

A salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed.

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander!

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?

It became a daddy short legs!

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?

You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.

What do you call an atheist in a six foot pine box?

All dressed up, with no place to go.

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?

Because it's all heart.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

What did the flower couple call their two babies?

Poli, Nate

Tomato Blush Jokes More Tomato Blush Jokes

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why was the tomato blushing?

Because he saw the salad dressing.

Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

Why couldn't the lizard get it up?

He had ereptile dysfunction.

What do you call a lizard on drugs?

A mariguana.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

Rated movies

Seizure Salad Jokes More Seizure Salad Jokes

What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

A seizure salad!

What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden?

Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why could Luke and Leia never be together?

They went looking for love in Alderaan places.

What do you call a virus named Enza that causes the flu?

A flu Enza. Thanks a lot everyone, I looked forward to this day for a long time.