Salad Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

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What is a blonde's favorite vegetable?

Salad

What is Lil Wayne's favorite food?

Caesar salad

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why did the lettuce blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

A salad-manager

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

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What did the salad wearing a tuxedo say?

I feel a bit overdressed.

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What is Shaun Morgan's favorite food?

Seether salad

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail?

Lettuce Go!

How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander!

Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?

Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno.

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Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?

It became a daddy short legs!

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

You might also enjoy:

Honeymoon Salad Jokes More Honeymoon Salad Jokes

What is a Honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone.

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Chicken Caesar Jokes More Chicken Caesar Jokes

What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye?

Chicken Caesar salad.

What do you call it when a chicken sees a salad?

A Chicken Caesar salad

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

Why did the Irishman only want 239 beans in his soup?

Because one more would be too farty.

How was my soup?

Souperb.

Seizure Salad Jokes More Seizure Salad Jokes

What's an epileptic's favorite side dish?

Seizure salad.

What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden?

Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What has six eyes but can't see?

Three blind mice.

What do rodents say when they play bingo?

Eyes down for a full mouse'!

Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up?

Ereptile disfunction

What do ya call it when a lizard goes completely limp?

A reptile-dysfunction.

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What is a Honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone.

What did the vegetables say at the garden party?

Lettuce turnip the beet

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person in the White House who is honest, intelligent, and law-abiding?

A tourist.

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.