Lettuce Jokes

What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Why couldn't the salad bowl play Scrabble?

It had run out of lettuce

How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

What's in a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing...

Why was the lettuce scared of the salad?

Cos.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray.

What do you get when you give a head of lettuce to an epileptic?

A seizure salad.

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?

Because it's all heart.

What kinda vegetables like to party?

Lettuce turnip da beet!

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

For disturbing the peas!

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

What did the vegetables say at the garden party?

Lettuce turnip the beet

What is the most common disease for lettuce?

Icebergers

What vegetable has Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Lettuce alone!*

What was the vegan rock band's first hit?

Lettuce turnip the beet!

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

Because they're inbred

What do you call an epileptic covered in lettuce?

A seizure salad.

Why is lettuce my favorite vegetable?

Just cos.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

What is a Honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone.

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

You might also enjoy:

Seizure Salad Jokes More Seizure Salad Jokes

Whats an epileptics favorite food?

SEIZURE SALAD. I peed

What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

A seizure salad!

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What do sea monsters have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

Which kind of sharply dressed, tiny dwarves make the best drummers?

Metro gnomes

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man one bicycle?

A tire.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable?

The wheelchair

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?

The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

What does it mean if you look down and see four balls instead of two?

Careful, you might be getting screwed.

Epileptic Jokes More Epileptic Jokes

What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your bath?

Throw in your washing.

What do you call an epileptic in the garden?

Seizure salad

Spanish Jokes More Spanish Jokes

What did the Spanish fireman name his 2 sons?

Jose and Hose B

What is the biggest plot twist in Spanish soap operas?

When Rodrigo finds out he is his own mother

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

What do you call a chicken staring at a head of lettuce?

Chicken sees-a salad

How do you know an engineer is an extrovert?

He stares at shoes while he talks to you.