Spanish Jokes

What do you call an old Spanish car?

FeO

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What's the Spanish equivalent of the devil's lettuce?

El Diablow

What's the number ten's favorite Spanish phrase?

Diez mio!

What did the Spanish Gorilla say at lunch time?

Yo tengo Harambe.

How do Chinese people say "hello" in Spanish?

Hola.

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

What is the most Spanish body part?

Elbow.

What kind of dog should you get a Spanish speaker?

A spaniel.

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

How do you spell "Pringles" in Spanish?

Pringls

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What did the Spanish fireman name his 2 sons?

Jose and Hose B

What did the Spanish teacher say to his one student, who was a member of the cartel?

Where is my essay?

How many times should you check whether a sentence is written in English or Spanish?

Once.

How do you say dinner in Spanish?

JOHN CENA

What do you call a little Spanish girl that searches for Redditors?

Fedora the explorer.

What does a Spanish dog say at the marina?

Bark-o.

What is the biggest plot twist in Spanish soap operas?

When Rodrigo finds out he is his own mother

What language do British wrenches speech?

Spanish!

How do you pick up older Spanish women?

Hola Seniority

How do you convert Spanish programming into English?

Yes++

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Which Spanish superhero has three wives?

Amor-Man

What do you call a banana you want tomorrow in Spanish?

Baana

What do you call a Spanish baker?

A con-quiche-ador

Why was the Spanish train the primary suspect?

It had locomotive. (I'm not sorry)

Why does the Spanish dude keep walking left?

Because izquierda going right.

Why does the dyslexic Spanish speaker have a poor self image?

His chemistry teacher told him he was mostly made of cabron.

What did the thirsty Spanish pirate say?

I need some arrrrrrrrrrrgua!

How do you say Tony Romo in Spanish?

Mark Sanchez.

How do you say doormat in Spanish?

Matador

What sport is played in Spanish churches?

La Cross

What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies?

I don't know they were speaking Spanish.

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

OC) Too many persuasive esses.

What did the Spanish musician say when he went fishing?

Castanets!

What does a Spanish cow say?

Muuuuuuuey!

How many Spanish people does it take to change a light bulb?

Just Juan.

What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?

Jose and Hoseb

What do you call s'mores in Spanish?

S'mas

What does a Spanish speaking ghost say when they like you?

Mi Ghosta!!

What do you call a bird that speaks Spanish?

A Si-gull

What is a Spanish person without a car called?

Carlos

What's the similarity between a Spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.

Why shouldn't Spanish women smoke cigarettes?

You shouldn't smoke if your pregnant.

What did the Spanish soccer announcer invest in?

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD**

What different about an American Christmas from a Spanish one?

Noel.

What does a Spanish programmer program in?

Si++

What do Spanish Canadians put on their tacos?

Pork, eh

Why did the Spanish train aficionado blow up his trains?

He had loco motives.

Why do Spanish beaches have a lot of women?

Cos they're playas.

What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens?

Oh-lay!

What do you call a little pepper in Spanish?

A jalapequeno

How do you say unicorn in Spanish?

Unamaize

Why do Spanish tests take so long?

Because of all the ese questions.

What did the Spanish firefighter name his twin sons?

Jose and Hose B

Why do Spanish men get half price movie tickets?

They take the senor discount.

Why did the Spanish man's boat sink?

Ola

How do you say goodbye to two people in Spanish?

Adidos!

How do you spell "nose" is Spanish?

Nose

How do you spell socks in Spanish?

Eso si que es.

What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth?

Hint: It's not English Spanish.

What did the Spanish guidance counselor tell his students?

You have to have gooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllssssssssss!!!!!

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Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

Why do cows have hoofs?

Because they lack toes

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road half way?

He wanted to lay it on the line!

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What does the H. in Jesus H. Christ stand for?

Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best.

Why doesn't god like bacon?

Because he isn't real.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

Where'v you been all day?

At the beauty salon" "Were they closed! "

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where can you find an ocean without any water?

On a map!

Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.

Spanish Teacher Jokes More Spanish Teacher Jokes

What did the Spanish teacher say to his one student, who was a member of the cartel?

Where is my essay?

Deez Nuts Jokes More Deez Nuts Jokes

Why is C afraid of D?

Because DEEZ NUTS!

What's white, black, and can smell fear?

Deez nuts.

Instruction Jokes More Instruction Jokes

Why is there no point in sending medicine to Athiopia?

Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.