Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

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How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

He knew better than to drink and derive.

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How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

What would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if you asked him his favorite holiday?

You have to love Easter, baby." (OC)

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What does a cow who's a jerk grow up to be?

Beef Jerky.

What's it called when a smart girl jerks you off?

A stroke of genius!

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Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

What was the statistician's fetish?

Let's just say he had the standard deviation.