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Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you call children who are afraid of Santa?

They are Clausaphobic

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?

He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.

Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

How many elves does it take it screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but they have to be very small.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days?

They're both Decomposing

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did David Bowie want for Christmas?

Carrie Fisher.

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

Why did the football team sack the hairy goalkeeper?

Because he rarely shaved the balls.

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety