Why would you take a hammer to bed?

So you could hit the sack.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do?

Lay awake in bed wondering if there really is a dog.

Who stole the sheets from the bed?

Bed buglars.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What did the golfer say to his buddy when he hit a bogey?

I guess you aren't up to par

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

Who cares!

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What did the tool box say to the hammer?

Toolsie!

Why did Jesus take 3 days to resurrect?

He got hammered with his buddies.

Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.