Elf Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

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What does Santa teach his elves?

The Elfabet!

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

Why did the elf have to play with Mega Bloks?

Because he was Legoless

What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop?

WRAP MUSIC!

What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that follows Scientology?

Elron Hubbard

How do elves spell?

With an elfabet.

How many elves does a German santa have?

Elf.

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What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull?

10:45

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

How many elves does it take it screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but they have to be very small.

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Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....

Why are thieves the best actors?

Because they always steal the show.

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What person strives to ensure safety for horses?

Ralph Neighder!

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

What does a homeless man gets for Christmas?

A cold.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What can Santa give away and still keep?

A cold.

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

Who's to blame?

The motorist. He really shouldn't be driving in the kitchen. (Edit: formatting)

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What do Egyptian kings sing on their birthday?

For he's a jolly good Pharaoh. Was that bad Ye, pharaoh-nuff

What did the Asian couple name their black baby?

Sum sing wong

Wrapper Jokes More Wrapper Jokes

Why don't elephants like penguins?

Because they can't get the wrapper off.

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

How many people does it take to make a joke on /r/Jokes?

Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day.