Elf Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

What does Santa teach his elves?

The Elfabet!

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

Why did the elf have to play with Mega Bloks?

Because he was Legoless

What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop?

WRAP MUSIC!

What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that follows Scientology?

Elron Hubbard

How do elves spell?

With an elfabet.

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How many elves does a german santa have?

Elf.

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull?

10:45

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

How many elves does it take it screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but they have to be very small.

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Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What's the difference between a robber and a politician?

Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.

Why do the ghosts never win races?

Because they're always dead tired. I stole this from plain and simple. Just straight up stole it. Why? Because it made me laugh and I didn't see it posted here before.

Reindeer Jokes More Reindeer Jokes

What do reindeer have that other animals don't have?

Baby reindeer

How would you get four reindeer in a car?

Two in the front and two in the back! And how do you get four polar bears in a car Take the reindeer out first

School Jokes More School Jokes

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.

What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school?

Submitting a stool sample.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away its USB cable.

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

Scientology Jokes More Scientology Jokes

What did the priest use to forgive the sinners that shot up his church?

A holey bible. And, yet, it still made more sense than Scientology.

What do you call an elf that follows Scientology?

Elron Hubbard

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did Haley Joel Osment find at the top of Mt. Everest?

Icy Dead People

How do you find a naked man in a nudist colony?

It's not hard.

Welfare Jokes More Welfare Jokes

What do you call someone from Olomouc who's living on the dole?

A welfare Czech.

What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers?

The Elf and Saftey Executive.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why don't people like to play uno with Mexicans?

Because they always steal the green cards....

Why does jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn