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What do you call a clock tower somebody lives in?

A timely manor.

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Why do Stasi officers make such good taxi drivers?

You get in the car and they already know your name and where you live.

What's black and red, flashes like hell and annoys men?

Live Jasmine

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What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.