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What was Santa's Christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

New gloves for the cold days

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why can't Santa play in the NBA?

He has a no-trade Claus

What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?

A lost clause.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What if she drinks too much, or gets high?

Me: You really aren't my kid are you

How old are your kids?

Kids

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What happens to Eminem when he dies?

I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?

Why are bats blind?

Well your eyesight wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all day would it

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do Hispanic weeaboos say on Christmas?

Feliz NYAHHHH-vidad

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?

Jungle Bells Jungle bells..!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

Cold Day Jokes More Cold Day Jokes

Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration?

Because it's a cold day in hell....

What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?

A little otter