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What was Santa's Christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

New gloves for the cold days

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you want for Christmas?

Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

What's the difference between Janet Reno and a school bus driver?

The bus driver stops to let the kids out.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What you gonna do on St. Valentine's Day?

What day is it " "Friday." "Shepherd's Pie."

What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was?

Can't complain

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What will santa bring your fish this Christmas?

A scale letrix!

Why is Santa always so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. You've probably heard this one before. But it's Christmas tomorrow so what the hell.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Whats the most handiest tool ever?

A Hand!

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork

Cold Day Jokes More Cold Day Jokes

What does an octopus wear on a cold day?

A coat of arms!

What was Santa's Christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

New gloves for the cold days