How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter?

Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation.

Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb?

Why would a blind man need a light bulb?

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

What is a Honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone.