Why do politicians hate the term "mudslinging"?

They don't want to get their hands dirty.

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Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggy

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Why does the farmer hate his job?

Because he has a deep-seeded hatred for planting.

Why does Tumblr hate symmetrical shapes?

Because they can't even

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How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.