Hippy Jokes

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy from drowning?

He was too far out maaaaan.

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How can you tell if a hippy came to your house?

He's still there.

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit!

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

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How many children does it take to change a light bulb in America?

About 1 thousand Iraqis.

How many bros does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer Natural Light.

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What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

How can you tell if someone's a redditor,in real life?

Ask them if they're on reddit. I'm sorry.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why aren't you married yet" is like asking "Why haven't you jumped from a moving car yet?

B/c it's painful and not required

Which film star is always jumping around the forest?

John Treevaulter.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do baseball pitchers make bad doctors?

Because when asked to 'give it to them straight', they throw a curveball!

When asked which is more important looks or brains?

9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.

Trampoline Jokes More Trampoline Jokes

Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

Spring time :D I'm not funny (..)

Clean Finger Jokes More Clean Finger Jokes

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

What do diapers and politicians have in common?

They both need to be changed after a while for the same reason