What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

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When does Eminem leave school?

Aftermath

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

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How many women are necessary to change a lightbulb?

One... but, what does it matter if she will ask a man to do it!

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He asked. I can't do Tuesdays. -Tommy Cooper

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Why do hippies like to swim way offshore?

Cause it's far out, man

Whats the difference between a hippie on fire and a lifetime supply of patchouli?

I don't wish for a lifetime supply every time I smell patchouli.

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What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.