What kind of socks do you find in your backyard?

Garden hose.

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How did they break in?

Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it Me: They threw it through the window.

Why did the walrus go to the tuppeware party?

To find a tight seal.. Badum tsst

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What kind of tea does water make?

Humiditea.

What kind of fence goes on strike?

A picket fence.

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What is long, hard and full of sperm?

The sock under my bed.

Why did the seamen cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning.

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What does Snoop Dogg keep in his backyard?

His garden hoes.

What's white and Irish and sits in your backyard all year?

Paddy O'Furniture