Crash Jokes

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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Why did some chemists go broke?

The bond market crashed.

What did the Japanese soda say to Papa John after he crashed his car?

I'm really sodie pop.

What did Mohammed Atta say to Larry Silverstein after the long flight?

Yo can I crash at your place?

Why did the people's phones stop working on the plane's that crashed into the twin towers?

They were in airplane mode. (I'm so sorry)

Who is he?

Crash Bandicoot God I miss this guy.

What is not a truck crashing into people?

Nice.

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes?

Nothing.

Why did the blind guy crashed his car into another car?

Because he forgot to check his blind side.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and Windows 10?

Paul Walker only crashed once.

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Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

What's Paul Walker's favorite energy drink???

N.O.S. too bad he can't handle the crash...

What was the last thing that went through JFK Jr's mind when his plane crashed?

The console. What was JFK Jr's wife drinking when the plane crashed? Ocean Spray.

What do you call a reptiloid that crashed landed its spaceship?

Imsosaurus!

Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

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What do you do if your video card driver keeps crashing?

Take away it's drivers license.

What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other?

They were MAROONED!

What happened when the blue ship crashed into the red ship?

The crews got marooned

Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

On all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?

A crashing bore.

Why did you crash into that stop sign?

Motorist: I was only following orders.

What did the tired pilot say to his crew?

I think I'm gonna crash

Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car?

Because it was Elise

What did one plane said to the other plane?

Can I crash at your place

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

You should Bill Gates.

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What do you call five black cars that all crash into each other?

A three car pile-up.

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit!

What do you call pigs in a demolition derby?

Crashing boars.

What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?

A pterrorist

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Why are so many Koreans named Park?

Because the ones named Drive all died in crashes.

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

Why did the leper crash his car?

He left his foot on the accelerator.

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread

What's the difference between a Malaysia Airline flight and Internet Explorer?

None. Eventually, both of them are gonna crash.

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Yo Jokes More Yo Jokes

How do you get into these!?

Yo, evolution: You missed one..

What's the most obvious slang word in the Star Wars universe?

Yo, duh.

Bad Driver Jokes More Bad Driver Jokes

Why did the computer crash?

It had a bad driver

Why did the hard drive crash?

Because it had a bad driver.

Squid Jokes More Squid Jokes

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?

Ten-tickcles.

What do you call a group of squids?

A *squad*

Console Jokes More Console Jokes

What's a police officers favorite console?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U. Edit: Gee Wilikers Batman I've got 151 upvotes yayyyyyy.

What's the worst thing about owning a console?

Memories of your dad leaving you are in 30fps

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness?

Nobody asks, 'who's there ' when you try and tell a knock knock joke.

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

Because he was following people before instagram

Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'?

It's too complex

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

What do you do to a chemist after they're dead?

You barium

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".