Crash Jokes

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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Why did some chemists go broke?

The bond market crashed.

What did the Japanese soda say to Papa John after he crashed his car?

I'm really sodie pop.

What did Mohammed Atta say to Larry Silverstein after the long flight?

Yo can I crash at your place?

Why did the people's phones stop working on the plane's that crashed into the twin towers?

They were in airplane mode. (I'm so sorry)

Who is he?

Crash Bandicoot God I miss this guy.

What is not a truck crashing into people?

Nice.

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes?

Nothing.

Why did the blind guy crashed his car into another car?

Because he forgot to check his blind side.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and Windows 10?

Paul Walker only crashed once.

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Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

How is Islam like a GPS?

You may think you're on the right path, but if you follow it literally, you'll end up crashing into a building.

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

What was the last thing that went through Lady Diana's head, moments before the crash?

Car battery

Why don't we let Google Chrome drive?

Because it crashes all the time.

What's Paul Walker's favorite energy drink???

N.O.S. too bad he can't handle the crash...

Why did Bruce Jenner crash his car?

Because she's a woman.

What was the last thing that went through JFK Jr's mind when his plane crashed?

The console. What was JFK Jr's wife drinking when the plane crashed? Ocean Spray.

What do you call a reptiloid that crashed landed its spaceship?

Imsosaurus!

Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

What do you do if your video card driver keeps crashing?

Take away it's drivers license.

What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other?

They were MAROONED!

What happened when the blue ship crashed into the red ship?

The crews got marooned

Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

On all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?

A crashing bore.

How do you get an Asian to crash their car?

Make the windshield full screen

Why did you crash into that stop sign?

Motorist: I was only following orders.

What did the tired pilot say to his crew?

I think I'm gonna crash

Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car?

Because it was Elise

What did one plane said to the other plane?

Can I crash at your place

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

You should bill Gates.

What do you call five black cars that all crash into each other?

A three car pile-up.

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit!

What do you call pigs in a demolition derby?

Crashing boars.

What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?

A pterrorist

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Why are so many Koreans named Park?

Because the ones named Drive all died in crashes.

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.

How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to crash a server?

D--Dos

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

Why did the leper crash his car?

He left his foot on the accelerator.

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread

How does it feel to crash a rental car?

It Hertz.

What's the difference between a Malaysia Airline flight and Internet Explorer?

None. Eventually, both of them are gonna crash.

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Why are Italians so good at football?

Because it involves changing sides halfway through.

What involves a man and two women, and doesn't even last a minute?

A Ronda Rousey fight.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

Why can't iron oxide get a date?

Porque es FeO Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.

Truck Jokes More Truck Jokes

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

What kind of sweets do trucks like?

Lorrypops.

Airplane Crash Jokes More Airplane Crash Jokes

Why did the airplane crash into the building?

BECAUSE THE PILOT WAS A LOAF OF BREAD!

Why are airplane crashes in the ocean so visible?

They're plane to sea

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Which trees miss you the most?

Pine trees

Why was the car naked?

It was missing a tire.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you do with an infected chemist?

You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium

What happened to the Irishman who tried to blow up a school bus?

He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Toucan

How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb?

2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Kardashians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one as the rest of the world simply MUST revolve around them...

How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb.