Crash Jokes

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why did some chemists go broke?

The bond market crashed.

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

What do you call a reptiloid that crashed landed its spaceship?

Imsosaurus!

Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

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What do you do if your video card driver keeps crashing?

Take away it's drivers license.

What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other?

They were MAROONED!

What happened when the blue ship crashed into the red ship?

The crews got marooned

Why did nVidia build the first self-driving car?

Because their drivers keep crashing.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?

A crashing bore.

Why did you crash into that stop sign?

Motorist: I was only following orders.

What did the tired pilot say to his crew?

I think I'm gonna crash

Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car?

Because it was Elise

What did one plane said to the other plane?

Can I crash at your place

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

You should Bill Gates.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call pigs in a demolition derby?

Crashing boars.

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread

How does it feel to crash a rental car?

It Hertz.

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full?

He is so misunderstood.

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits

Yo Jokes More Yo Jokes

What do rappers use to write their lyrics?

Word,yo.

What's the most obvious slang word in the Star Wars universe?

Yo, duh.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why did the hipster cross the road?

To get to a place you've probably never heard of.

What does Michael Bolton say when he walks into an elevator?

This place rocks!

Airplane Mode Jokes More Airplane Mode Jokes

Why did I throw my phone out of my window?

Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...

Twin Tower Jokes More Twin Tower Jokes

Why were the Twin Towers upset?

They ordered pepperoni but they got plane

Why were the people in the Twin Towers so upset about their pizza order?

They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you pay for things in the Czech Republic?

Cash or Czech Edit: a word

How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn?

China probably can pop corn in one minute.

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why was the composer late for work?

He missed Debussy. I'll just leave.

What do you call Batman when he misses church?

Christian Bail

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

What did one plane said to the other plane?

Can I crash at your place

Why is Peter Pan on the No-Fly list?

Whenever he boards a plane it neverlands