Crash Jokes

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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Why did some chemists go broke?

The bond market crashed.

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

What do you call a reptiloid that crashed landed its spaceship?

Imsosaurus!

Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

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What do you do if your video card driver keeps crashing?

Take away it's drivers license.

What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other?

They were MAROONED!

What happened when the blue ship crashed into the red ship?

The crews got marooned

Why did nVidia build the first self-driving car?

Because their drivers keep crashing.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?

A crashing bore.

Why did you crash into that stop sign?

Motorist: I was only following orders.

What did the tired pilot say to his crew?

I think I'm gonna crash

Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car?

Because it was Elise

What did one plane said to the other plane?

Can I crash at your place

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

You should Bill Gates.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call pigs in a demolition derby?

Crashing boars.

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread

How does it feel to crash a rental car?

It Hertz.

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Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

When does a Pentagon have only 4 sides?

When it is intercepted by a plane.

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul. Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do monkeys drink in space?

Orangu-Tang.

What should you wear when drinking tea?

A tea-shirt.

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

What's Beethoven's favorite favorite Japanese weapon?

Ka-ta-na-na!

Twin Tower Jokes More Twin Tower Jokes

What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?

Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.

Why were the people in the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

Why should you try to date girls you meet at the gym?

Because you already know she'll work out.

Yo Jokes More Yo Jokes

What's the haps, yo?

19yo niece: ... Me: ... 19yo niece: ... Me: "I'm sorry."

What's the most obvious slang word in the Star Wars universe?

Yo, duh.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call it when guys find older women unusually attractive?

The Stunning-Cougar Effect.

What do you call a guy with 15 rabbits up his arse?

Warren.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends what you want it to change into...