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How do you get into these!?

Yo, evolution: You missed one..

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Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Why is stormtrooper always late from work?

He keeps missing his train

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What's the haps, yo?

19yo niece: ... Me: ... 19yo niece: ... Me: "I'm sorry."

What do you get when yo cross sheep DNA with human DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.