Why did the leper crash his car?

He left his foot on the accelerator.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What is someone who just got left at the alters least favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why can't cars fly kites?

Because of the windshield.

What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other?

They were MAROONED!

Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car?

Because it was Elise

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

What's squawky, worn out, and falls from foot easily?

An old shoe......and Ronda Rousey

Leper Jokes More Leper Jokes

What do you call a leper in a hot tub?

Stew!

What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi?

Stew. Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry.