When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do plantains say when they lose their phone?

Where did Mofongo

Why did the marijuana addict lose the race?

He was running on fumes.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What did people call the Nutty Professor before he became a professor?

Mr. Peanut

What's math?

People who give 110%

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's grey and never needs ironing?

A drip dry elephant!

Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?

Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job "ok" Number 7 will shock you "You're hired"

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?

Yellow

What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?

LO

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right... the tuna fish!

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

What method did SFML perform when the Human lost to the AI?

Text.GetRect()

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

What's the difference between Reddit and Facebook?

About a day

How does a Facebook employee greet each other?

Hey there, whatsapp!!

2 Week Jokes More 2 Week Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker