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When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a guy who likes to lose?

Ewan

What did the cat say when he lost all his money?

I'm paw!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people?

An icebreaker

Why do people say tunafish, rather than just tuna?

Is that to differentiate from the tunacow and tunagiraffe

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did the perverted scientist say to his colleague?

If you need me, I'll be in my Lab.

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

13. Number 9 will shock you!

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How's the meal?

Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...

Why can't two jealous people talk on the phone together?

It is always an insecure line!

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding?

The browneye. You'll have to guess why its bleeding.

What do you call a master at guessing Anime characters?

Guesu

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

Why is Reddit different from Facebook?

Removed

2 Week Jokes More 2 Week Jokes

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit!

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.