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When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!

How many light bulbs did it take to screw a human?

None, there not too bright with doing anything except showing us where to go when were lost in the dark

People Jokes More People Jokes

How many livers do people have?

I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.

What do you call a group of people from Portugal?

Portugeese

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many things do you need to change a lightbulb?

3, a person, a ladder, and another lightbulb

Why did 20 blondes stand outside the bar?

Because you need to be 21 to get in.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

Why were all the numbers afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why did The Hobbit put his phone on silent?

Because he was bored of the rings!

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What be a Pirates favorite letter?

Ye all must be willin' to guess Arrrr. But ye be wrong! It be the Sea! Yearha har har har

What's the opposite of marshmellow?

Well, I guess it would be marshmadness

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes?

Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate.

What's the difference between Reddit and Facebook?

About a day

2 Week Jokes More 2 Week Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker