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What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

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Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How can a blind person tell if they're home?

They check the architexture.

Why don't we tell the people that every snowflake is unique?

It's not like they'll ever really check "Let's do it"

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What is your sin, my child?

Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time...

What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY!!

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

What's this fly doing in my soup?

The waiter responds, "The backstroke."

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What state has the highest cell phone bills?

Text-us

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.