What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

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Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

How do you take a Mexican family portrait?

Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light.

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How does Stevie Wonder check Facebook?

With his EyePhone

Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

What did the guy say to the funny drug dealer?

You really crack me up dude!" The drug dealer responds with: "How much "

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.