What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Previous Random Joke Next
Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What's a pirate's favorite move in chess?

Check, matey.

How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

How does R. Kelly respond when girls ask for a rating on a ten scale?

Urinate

Why do think that?

The boy responds "Because he closes his eyes when he kisses me."

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)