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What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

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Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How will you be paying, sir?

Check mate"..

Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

Why isn't he responding to us?

I'm annoyed H I A N N O Y E D I M D A D

Why are you ordering so many drinks?

The dog responds, "I've had a ruff day."

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)