Red Light Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

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Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

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Motorist Jokes More Motorist Jokes

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

Horn Jokes More Horn Jokes

What gives milk and has a horn?

A milk tank!

What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?

A mountain gloat.

Kia Jokes More Kia Jokes

What do you get if your Kia is stolen in Finland?

No Kia

What's a soldier's least favorite car company?

KIA

Nyc Jokes More Nyc Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

What do you call an earthquake in NYC?

Harlem Shake.

Green Light Jokes More Green Light Jokes

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

Flash Jokes More Flash Jokes

What does Gordon program in?

FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe...

What's black and red, flashes like hell and annoys men?

Live Jasmine

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell an introvert and an extrovert mathematician apart?

When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes.

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What does Rupert the Bear and Jack the Ripper have in common?

Same middle name!

What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third?

Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!