Red Light Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

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Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

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Occupant Jokes More Occupant Jokes

What was the Italian hot tub that was so small it's occupants always bumped into each other called?

Ja-scusi.

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

Maple Leafs Jokes More Maple Leafs Jokes

How many maple leafs does it take to change a tire?

Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up

Why can't the Maple Leafs have any tea?

Because Boston has all the cups!

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do they all sit?

They turn the stool upside down

What's the big deal about Jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the building?

Te-quil-a

How can you tell if a Mexican is feeling sad?

They're wearing a SOMBERERO

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

What do you call tree sap that won't stop running?

Forest gunk.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call a fast country?

I ran. Which one is faster Rush sia. How about d fastest E jeep. No K

Why did broke man fall over?

He ran out of balance

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?

A boar constrictor!

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

Nissan Jokes More Nissan Jokes

What type of car does a Loch Ness Monster Drive?

A nissan

What does a little sister ride?

A Nissan.