Red Light Jokes

What is a NYC nanosecond?

If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green.

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Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down?

The owner calls Triple Eh.

What did Humpty Dumpty say to his girlfriend when she said they were breaking up?

Is this some sort of yolk

Toronto Jokes More Toronto Jokes

Why do Newfies want Quebec to separate?

So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!

Where's the best place in Toronto to check out girls?

Broadview*

Street Jokes More Street Jokes

Why did the sperm cross the street?

Because i put on the wrong socks.

What do you call a street on the Mexican border?

Wall Street

Nyc Jokes More Nyc Jokes

How many square feet are in the average NYC apartment?

Zero. Feet are feet shaped.

What do you call an earthquake in NYC?

Harlem Shake.

Horn Jokes More Horn Jokes

What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?

A mountain gloat.

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

Truck Jokes More Truck Jokes

What kind of sweets do trucks like?

Lorrypops.

What do you get when you cross a motorcycle and a truck?

Hit by a car.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

Why don't Pokemon cards ever have any typos?

Because the editors know that they gotta catch 'em all!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between cab drivers and F1 drivers?

F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver

Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday?

Payday vs prayday.