Why do stop lights turn red?

You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everybody.

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

Why did the man turn on the lights in a depression clinic?

He wanted to lighten the mood in such a dim atmosphere.

What did the rude prism say to the beam of light that smacked into him?

Get bent!

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow remover?

Give her a shovel...

Why did the kittens turn atheist?

Coz their eyes opened.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What does a Chicago cop say after emptying his clip into a fleeing suspect?

Stop. Police.

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

How many data wranglers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but they need a backup.

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but he'll tell everybody.

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!