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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome.

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Float Jokes More Float Jokes

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.

What do you call a personal laptop floating in the ocean?

A Dell - Rolling In The Deep

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What's high in the middle and round on both ends?

Ohio.

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV?

His son with the xbox.

What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga?

You poke poke poker face

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does a bee do with his stinger at night?

Put it in his honey.

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals