Float Jokes

Why is little Annie's shoe floating in the sea?

Because the shark burped.

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How can you tell an ant is a boy or girl?

Throw it in water If it sinks = girl ant If it floats = buoyant

What do you do when you see a floating T.V. in the middle of the night?

Tell Jamal to drop it

What do you call your favorite 80's pop star floating dead in the harbor?

David Buoy

What do you say when you see your TV floating at night?

Put it down, Tyrone!

What wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.

What kind of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

Why do photons travels slower through water?

They having a float-on. it very good

Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)

What happened when Billy Mays's ghost floated into the rave?

Everyone started partying like it was $19.99.

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How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox?

Tell them it floats!

What do a Caucasian woman's breasts have in common with clouds?

They're both white fluffy things that float high above the fruitful land where the seeds are planted.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

What do u call two lesbians floating down a river in a canoe?

Fur traders.

What do you call two lesbians floating down a river in a canoe?

Fur traders.

What do you call a dead baby floating in the middle of the ocean?

Bait.

What's blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?

A baby with slashed floaties. What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? Floaties with a slashed baby.

Whats the worst part about a black out in Detroit?

All the pairs of floating eyes

How does one sink, that which floats?

How does one sync, that which floats Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats.

Why was drug addicted Moses upset when he was floating down a river?

Because he was in Da-Nile

What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean?

An acappellago

What does a pirate do for entertainment?

Whatever floats his boat.

Why did the integer drown?

Because it can't float.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?

Bob

What floats, is very-very heavy and carries a variety of flavours as a payload?

A *Souper*tanker! Simmer on that! - I say!

What should you do if you see your TV floating?

Turn on the lights and shoot the black guy.

What happens when you drop a decimal point in water?

It floats.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs...... sitting at your door?

Matt....floating in your pool Bob....hanging on your wall Art.... water skiing Skipper.

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

What do you call the runs in space?

The floats

What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise?

Captains Log

What do you call a personal laptop floating in the ocean?

A Dell - Rolling In The Deep

Why are there no nice cars in heaven?

Because abortions float.

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome.

What do you call 5 guys who have no arms or legs and a woman floating in the water together?

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Ann

What do you call a floating potato?

A levi-tater.

How do you expect me to ignite the TNT below Kaiser's floating fortress?

Waterproof Match Man: Maybe I can help.

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float?

That's my buoy!

What do you call a boat that won't float?

Bloated.

What do you call the only wood that doesn't float?

Natalie.

What doesn't float to the top when it dies?

A day old reddit post.

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?

You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

What is white sugary has whiskers and floats on the sea?

A catameringue!

What's black and yellow and doesn't float?

A bulldozer.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Natalie Wood Jokes More Natalie Wood Jokes

What kind of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?

She wanted to wash up on shore

Gender Jokes More Gender Jokes

How can you find out the gender of an ant?

Throw it in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant

What's a feminist's least favourite bread?

Gender rolls

Tyrone Jokes More Tyrone Jokes

What do you say when you see your TV floating at night?

Put it down, Tyrone!

Whats the difference between 8 and negative four?

Tyrone

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of underwear does John Grisham use?

Pelican Briefs I'll go find a bridge

What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move?

Poll dancing!

Jamal Jokes More Jamal Jokes

How many children does Jamal have?

Show your work.

Why Are Mexican & Black Jokes Overdone?

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal!...I'm sorry, you can hate me if you wish. ;(

Equation Jokes More Equation Jokes

What do you call an equation with no solution?

A hypocrite.

What did the integral say to the equation?

I don't even...

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A fish

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

What side of the American flag are the stars on?

Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

How can you tell when the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling equally from both sides of his mouth.