Float Jokes

How can you tell an ant is a boy or girl?

Throw it in water If it sinks = girl ant If it floats = buoyant

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What do you call your favorite 80's pop star floating dead in the harbor?

David Buoy

What wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.

What kind of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

Why do photons travels slower through water?

They having a float-on. it very good

Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

Whats the worst part about a black out in Detroit?

All the pairs of floating eyes

Why was drug addicted Moses upset when he was floating down a river?

Because he was in Da-Nile

What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean?

An acappellago

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What does a pirate do for entertainment?

Whatever floats his boat.

Why did the integer drown?

Because it can't float.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?

Bob

What floats, is very-very heavy and carries a variety of flavours as a payload?

A *Souper*tanker! Simmer on that! - I say!

What happens when you drop a decimal point in water?

It floats.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs...... sitting at your door?

Matt....floating in your pool Bob....hanging on your wall Art.... water skiing Skipper.

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

What do you call the runs in space?

The floats

What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise?

Captains Log

What do you call a personal laptop floating in the ocean?

A Dell - Rolling In The Deep

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating?

Man, wall mounts are awesome.

What do you call a floating potato?

A levi-tater.

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float?

That's my buoy!

What do you call a boat that won't float?

Bloated.

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

What is white sugary has whiskers and floats on the sea?

A catameringue!

What's black and yellow and doesn't float?

A bulldozer.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Tyrone Jokes More Tyrone Jokes

What did the black mother name her 5 daughters?

Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How did she tell them apart She called them by their last names!

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable?

Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.

What do you do when you are done with the vegetables?

You put them back in the wheelchair

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What vegetable has Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Lettuce alone!*

What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable?

Putting them back in the wheelchair

Annie Jokes More Annie Jokes

What's next?

A young feminist orphan Annie

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

Whats an Italians favourite part of football?

Half time, they get to switch sides again

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

Why do men want to marry a virgin?

To avoid criticism and comparison.

Why sacrifice virgins?

Because they've done nothing to deserve it.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one?

CuNO3!

What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips?

Snacks that go crunch in the night.

Harbor Jokes More Harbor Jokes

Where's the T?

We threw it in the harbor." Merica.

What do you call your favorite 80's pop star floating dead in the harbor?

David Buoy